Livin' Offa Pork 'n' Beans

Not kosher? Okay, neither was Francis Bacon. However, it seems even Mr. Kevin Bacon--"A-lister" that he is (hey, he was awesome in Footloose)--is feeling the effects of our down-turned economy, courtesy of a twisted Ponzi scheme. Whatever that is. All I want to know is who will bring home the bacon now?

The faltering economy. The largely won war in Iraq. The reinvigorated war in Afghanistan. And Britney riding her comeback. It will be very interesting to witness the ups-and-downs of the next four years.

With that in mind, our new Mr. President will take the stand in a few days and elaborate on our challenges and potential. I bet it will be stirring. I bet it will be long on purple prose. Man, it's gonna be long on purple prose.

But I hope he gives a little credit where credit is due. W. hasn't been our best, but not our worst by a long shot--I'd say nearly two full terms without another attack on American soil and the proven guts to stick out two very difficult wars abroad without flinching is ADMIRABLE. He gets my gratitude. And God bless him.

Not that I wish Obama to fail--that's bad for the country, bad for the office of the President, bad for those with simple, common decency. And it would be good for our enemies. So whatever that Thaumaturge of Talk pours into our eager ears in four days, here's some memorable inaugural addresses to get us ready. Enjoy.